According to reports, the most common fetishes involve body parts, such as feet, or body features, such as obesity, piercings, or tattoos.
Kate Halim
When Hope Ona met Maxwell Essien on her way to work, she wasn’t ready for a serious relationship. She had discovered that her last boyfriend was just with her because of money and not because he loved her.
Thirty two-year-old deformed Ona has suffered heartbreaks. She recalls that a lot of guys just want her for sex and not for a serious relationship. At one time, she dated someone who told her not to appear in public with him because he doesn’t want his friends to know he’s dating a deformed girl.
Emotionally crushed and tired of being rejected by men because of her deformity, Ona wasn’t interested in going into a new relationship when she met Essien on that fateful day. But they hit it off immediately and she felt wanted once again.
What Ona didn’t know was that Essien had a sexual fetish for deformed girls. He dated girls with deformity and that is what turns him on sexually. Essien confessed to her months after they met that having sex with a deformed girl is more pleasurable than having sex with a normal lady.
Weird as it sounds, Ona was glad she finally met a man who wanted her for her imperfections. “I was shocked when he confessed to me that his sexual fantasy is to have sex with a deformed lady. I am glad that I finally found someone who wanted me for who I am”, Ona said.
Different faces, different fetishes
When 46-year-old Bernard Badmus slapped his wife for daring to shave her pubic hair, many people were shocked. They saw nothing wrong with a woman shaving that place clean but it was a big deal to Mr. Badmus.
Badmus who married his wife Elizabeth 12 years earlier had told her that he loves her hairy down there. For years, she had pleaded with him to allow her shave her pubic hair a bit because it makes her uncomfortable but he refused.
One day, when she couldn’t stand her bushy pubic hair any longer, Elizabeth shaved everything. But she wasn’t prepared for the reaction of her husband when he touched her that night. He became enraged and slapped her. He slapped her so hard, she screamed in pain.
Badmus revealed that running his fingers through his wife’s pubic hairs turn him on instantly. He loves it hairy down there and he didn’t understand why his wife would go against his wishes.
“I told her many times that hair turns me on. It’s my sexual fantasy. You can’t imagine the kind of excitement and fulfilment I feel having sex with a hairy woman. It’s like going to heaven”, Badmus stated.
Like Badmus, Comfort Adeniyi, a makeup artist in Ikeja told Saturday Sun that she gets aroused by men with sexy beards and deep voices.
According to Adeniyi, her ideal man is one whose beards she will look at and become weak in the knees. She deliberately stays away from her friends’ husbands who keep beards to avoid crossing the line with them.
“Running my fingers through my man’s beards is my weakness. It makes me horny. I have dated many men because of their beards. You can call me a baby of the beard gang”, she revealed.
Comfort has turned down potential suitors because of this her fantasy. She has a high libido and doesn’t want to cheat on any man she would marry. This is the reason why she wants to settle down with someone with a physical appearance that makes her tick when it comes to sex.
Victoria Dominic, an online clothes seller loves to have painful sex. If a man is not aggressive with her during sex, she doesn’t enjoy it. Her perfect sex would comprise slaps, chokes and being restrained or tied up.
Dominic told Saturday Sun that before she gets aroused for any sexual activity, her partner must inflict some form of pain on her, either by hitting her or slapping her during foreplay in preparation for sex.
And during sex, Dominic loves to be restrained by being tied to the bed or handcuffed. She said she doesn’t enjoy sex with men who are tender and gentle with her. She doesn’t enjoy normal sexual intercourse; sex has to be exciting and dramatic.
“I cannot stay with any man that cannot give me that painful exciting treat. That is why I choose my boyfriends carefully because I cannot cope with gentle and boring sex,” she said.
A transporter in Lagos, Mr. Temitope Ojo enjoys anal sex more. When Ojo suggested anal sex to his wife of eight years, she was disappointed he could mention such a thing to her and reported him to their pastor.
Undeterred about his wife’s reaction, Ojo was determined to live out his sexual fantasy to the full. He started dating a young girl in another state who allows him fulfil his fantasy in exchange for an amount anytime they have sex.
Ojo stated that he wasn’t angry when his wife reported him to their pastor for demanding anal sex. He felt bad afterwards asking her to do something she wasn’t comfortable with because she is conservative about sex.
“I love to have anal sex. I didn’t reveal this to my wife because we are very religious people. I enjoy sex more when I penetrate a woman anally. I found a way to satisfy myself instead of having problems with my wife because of my fantasy”
While he enjoys his fantasy with his new found mistress, Ojo said it doesn’t come for free. She charges him for every encounter but that doesn’t deter him because of the excitement and pleasure he enjoys having sex with her anally.
Ojo said: “It is a small price to pay for my pleasure. I have met women who called me a ritualist for demanding anal sex because they didn’t understand my fantasy. But this lady I am having an affair with is such a cool babe, she understands me and we are good.”
It was Mrs. Precious Chikwe’s 40th birthday last month and she told her husband she wanted a different birthday present from him. Days later, he told her that he would give a gift and that gift was to invite another woman to join them for sex.
Stunned by her husband’s request, Chikwe refused. She told him that since the gift was for her, they should invite a man to join them. At least, if she would have a threesome for her birthday, she should do it with another man.
Her 50-year-old husband who travels a lot for business would hear none of that. He insisted on inviting a young lady he met in a club recently to join them. He promised her it would be an unforgettable experience.
Chikwe who confessed that she is bisexual loved the idea but she didn’t want her husband to suspect she loves to have sex with women too. She initially refused just to throw him off balance.
“Right from my secondary school days, I loved having sex with men and women but my husband didn’t know. So when he suggested we have a threesome with another woman, I was thrilled. It was like a dream come true”, Chikwe said.
Desmond Ibinima, an electrician loves to watch people having sex. As weird as this fantasy sounds, Ibinima noted that he’s not doing anything wrong by watching people touch each other and mingle bodies. It turns him on.
Ibinima loves to see women make out with each other. He deliberately married a lesbian because of his fantasy. He enjoys hearing his wife moan when she’s doing it with another woman while he watches them.
“I enjoy watching my wife have sexual intercourse with her girlfriends. Nothing turns me on like that sight. When she’s done with her friend, I come over and penetrate her to finish what her friend started. Our sex life may be unconventional, but that is what makes us happy”, he said.
Thirty four-year-old Daniel Oyedokun loses his senses when he stands before a naked busty woman. Chuckling and describing the size of breasts he prefers, Oyedokun said he has never dated a woman with small boobs. They don’t get him aroused like busty women do.
According to Oyedokun, “when I see a busty woman, I start to have an erection. I can’t explain it but that is what I enjoy in a woman’s body during sex. I love grabbing big breasts and sucking them.”
One time when his busty girlfriend broke up with him, Oyedokun tried to do everything possible to get her back because of his sexual fantasy. He didn’t want to lose her. Even though she gave him some hard conditions, Oyedokun agreed because of the pleasure trove on her chest.
Similarly, Samuel Igwemba, a trader in Lagos Island gets a hard on when he is alone with a woman with big buttocks. Igwemba noted that grabbing huge buttocks during sex makes him climax faster.
“I once had sex with a girl with a small behind and regretted it. She noticed I wasn’t impressed after the deed and felt guilty that she disappointed me. I assured her that it wasn’t her fault that I love women with big buttocks.”
According to Igwemba, he followed a lady outside Lagos one day because of the size of her buttocks. He needed to convince her to be his girlfriend. He did a lot of things to please her and when they eventually had sex, he was a happy man.
Igwemba is not ready to settle down now but he won’t make the mistake of marrying a woman who doesn’t have a huge buttocks. He doesn’t care what family and friends might think about his choice. He wants to enjoy his fantasy to the full even after getting married.
When Christy Agu caught her boyfriend sniffing her panties before they had sex, she was disgusted. She didn’t understand why a man would take a woman’s panties and start sniffing them to get aroused for sex.
Agu had stepped out of the room to go get some water from the fridge in the kitchen at his Surulere apartment when he grabbed her pants and started sniffing away. He was so engrossed in what he was doing that he didn’t hear her come back into the room until she cleared her throat.
“I still cannot wrap my head around the fact that the man I love had to smell my underwear to get turned on. He told me that it was his fetish but I wasn’t comfortable with it.”
Agu noted that finding out her boyfriend loved to sniff underwear affected their relationship for a while until she accepted the fact that there was nothing wrong with him having a sexual fetish.
A network marketer Chika Nzekwe said one of the major things that arouse him sexually in a woman is when she has stretch marks on her breasts and buttocks. Nzekwe revealed that he enjoys intercourse with only ladies that have stretch marks.
“I know a lot of men get irritated when they see women with stretch marks; but as for me, I cannot date any lady that does not have those tiny stretch marks on her breasts and buttocks. Stretch marks turn me on,” he told Saturday Sun.
What is a sexual fetish?
A fetish is sexual excitement in response to an object or body part that’s not typically sexual, such as shoes or feet. They are more common in men.
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Many people with fetishes must have the object of their attraction at hand or be fantasizing about it, alone or with a partner, in order to become sexually aroused, get an erection, and have an orgasm.
According to reports, the most common fetishes involve body parts, such as feet, or body features, such as obesity, piercings, or tattoos. Body size and hair fetishes are also common.
The psychology behind sexual fetishes
Shedding more light on sexual fetishes, a therapist in Lagos, Michael Chikezie said people with sexual fetishes are usually not diagnosed with fetishistic disorder unless the sexual fantasy or enacting the fetish causes distress to themselves or others.
According to Chikezie, fetishes are considered to be sexually deviant if they entail causing another person psychological distress, injury or death, or involve unwilling participants or those who are unable to provide consent.
“Sexual fetishes are considered to be psychologically healthy as long as the other person participating in the behavior is accepting and willing to be involved.”
Even though people with different fetishes may get willing partners to experience their sexual fantasies with, it can be problematic because it can lead to sexual dysfunction, including the inability to achieve or maintain an erection when the preferred body part is unavailable during sexual activity, stated Chikezie.
“Even if the person is involved in a reciprocal, meaningful relationship, he or she may prefer to have solitary sexual activity associated with the fetish rather than his or her partner, which can result in damage to intimate relationships.”
How people develop sexual fetishes
Sex expert, Omotola Ayeni told Saturday Sun that fetishes are often routed in early childhood experiences.
Ayeni stated that although no one is innately born with a fetish, many evolve early in life due to adolescent curiosity and when a random object becomes paired with pleasure.
She said: “Sexual fetishes may also result from adverse childhood experiences such as seeing inappropriate sexual behavior or sexual abuse during childhood.”
A psychologist, Patricia Chiegboka believes that sexual fetishes are behaviors that are learned like language and change over time through sexual experiences.
She said that sexual responses are modified through sexual interactions with others, and that just as individuals can learn a language, they also can learn sexual fetishes.
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